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3rd Sermon in Forgiveness Series
"Healing the Hurts Within: How People Forgive" Text: Matthew 18:21-35 -- Date: August 3, 2003 Prayer for illumination: May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, 0 Lord; for you are my Rock and my Redeemer. AMEN.This morning as we continue our series on "Forgiveness: Healing the Hurts Within" by looking at How People Forgive. Let's take a look at a very familiar passage in Matthew's gospel because there we can see a little more clearly about what Jesus thinks of the matter and then see how it might apply to "forgiving other people." Let's begin by reading this morning's text. "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?'" Jesus answered, "I tell you not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Jesus commands unlimited forgiveness. "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt." Jesus can command unlimited forgiveness you see because he offers unlimited forgiveness. He illustrates this truth with the parable of the Unforgiving Servant. When we look closely at Jesus' teaching, we learn at least two very important lessons. The first lesson to be learned is there is no human being who has not amassed unpayable debt before God. This cannot be overly emphasized. We are all in deep debt to God. The second lesson is that the debt is so great that we will never have the means to repay it. By the way, the selling of all that he had, especially the sending of his wife and children into slavery is an exaggeration to make the point, for in Jewish law this was not allowed. The fact of the matter is the servant would need countless lives to pay the king back every thing that was due. But the servant wanted to pay back his debt to the king. He really wanted to make it right. And so, "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go." The point is, the debt it so immense that it is humanly impossible to pay it back. And yet, while the debt of the servant was great, the compassion of the King was far greater. The servant gets infinitely more than he asked. He has asked for patience and the chance to repay his debt; he received amnesty and complete remission of debt. He got a forgiveness that he had not dared to ask for. Deep debt and the human ability to repay it now come together in the gospel -- a deep forgiveness from a gracious king. The first act of the drama is over. We sometimes think in the church that when the first act is over, that when we have received forgiveness of sins, the whole thing is over. We sometimes think that the whole of salvation has reached its destination when people receive Christ and join the church. There is more to it than that. The forgiveness of sins, to be sure is probably the largest part of Jesus' message of the kingdom. But this forgiveness is the beginning -- not the ending -- of the drama. You see, this parable teaches the responsibility of the forgiven. Act 2 now begins. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred dinarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded." Can you believe this?! Wouldn't you think that if you had been forgiven, let's say, a million-dollar debt that you'd be able to forgive another a few bucks? See, this is what Jesus was getting at in the first part of this morning's text. Our guilt before God is unendingly greater than any other person's guilt can be before us. But the less we believe in the King's forgiveness, or should I say, the less we believe that he forgives us, the less likely we will forgive others. Luke records Jesus saying in his gospel, "He who has been forgiven little, loves little." This parable is trying to teach us to be amazed by grace and share that grace with others; be seventy-seveners! "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened." Isn't that interesting? The fellow servant says almost the same words that the first servant said a moment ago. The first servant received grace; the second, a prison sentence. The first servant received a reprieve; the second a reprisal. Can you believe it? Can humans be so inhumane? Can Christians, especially, who have experienced God's overwhelming forgiveness, be so blatantly un-Christian? The sad point of the story is that we can be. Too often, we cannot offer to others that which God offers to us. Too many people are carrying around unforgiveness and it is not only robbing us of the joy of fellowship with one another but our relationships with other members of our families as well. Other interpersonal relationships are being affected, and so it our joy in the Lord. Friends: receiving the forgiveness that God offers us, then extending that forgiveness to others, and yes, even forgiving yourselves, really are keys in healing the hurts within. "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you? In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you for give your brother [and your sister] from your heart." Briefly, the king is really mad at the servant's behavior. Our Lord can become angry, this story teaches us, when forgiveness ends only in our reception of it ourselves, and we don't extend this same forgiveness to others. "If you do not forgive others their failures, neither will your Father forgive you yours." OK. That's the parable in a nutshell. What can we learn from it related to how people forgive? First of all, we need to be aware of the need to forgive. The Spirit of God can convict us that we need to be forgiven or the Word of God can also show us that we need to forgive one another. But there are a couple of other ways we can know that we need to forgive too. Listen to your heart. The prophet Jeremiah says to us, "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God and they will be my people." And of course, someone may come to us. You know, that is our obligation; to go to someone when we have a problem with him or her. If someone has done something to hurt you, it is your obligation to go to him or her and work it out. See, our Lord makes forgiving one another a command, not just a suggestion. God takes forgiving one another very seriously. In fact, there are eternal consequences for unforgiveness. Don't take your responsibility to forgive one another lightly; God doesn't. Secondly, people forgive others by trusting them to the grace of God. As God has forgiven us, so are we to forgive others. As we have received God's glorious grace, so shall we extend his amazing grace to others. This will take some work; depending on the situation, it may not happen over night either. Our tendency is to want the other person to experience the same hurt that we have; we don't want them to experience God's grace do we? We need to be healed of the hurt and the hate then we can move on through the other stages of being healed and hopefully, reconciliation. Finally, in forgiving others we need to be patient with others and be open to allow God to work in our lives to forgive others. The Lord was patient with the first servant, and he was rewarded with remission. The servant was impatient with the second one and was rewarded with reprisal. Again, forgiveness may take time. Be open to forgiving others. Remember, forgiving someone does not mean acceptance or approval or endorsing an act or behavior. Often when we forgive someone, the situation or circumstances don't change. But, forgiveness can set us free from the hurt and the hate that accompanies bad situations and circumstances. How about you? What do you need to let go of this morning? As we become more and more serious about healing the hurts within, then I encourage you to take Jesus' teaching on forgiveness seriously. Take forgiving someone else as seriously as the Lord has you forgiven you. Gracious God, we really want to have good relationships with the people around us -- our families, our neighbors and friends, our sisters and brothers in Christ. And yet Lord, there are people in our lives with whom our "good" relationships have been broken; we have been hurt; the pain lies deep within us; we withhold our love and friendship because of the hurts within. |